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Grace Katherine Scarabelli, née McVey. 14 May 1923- 22 Nov 2022, 99+ years.
Grace lived her life as an exciting adventure, with the world to explore, new people to befriend, languages to learn, dinners to create, causes to take on, and many wrongs to right. She was a wonderful mother and matriarch to her large extended family, a social activist, a business woman, a renowned cook and entertainer, and an all-round bonne vivante!
She almost made it to 100, which was her goal, and as determined as she was, probably annoys her still.
The eldest of 10 children and a fourth generation Canadian, Grace was born in Marvelville, a farming community in South Eastern Ontario, to J.B. McVey, a farmer and businessman, and Anne King, a school teacher. Grace spent much of her early years entertaining her younger siblings with made up stories and her own daring exploits. She was known to be impetuous and a bit of a daredevil, and was nicknamed Peter by a cousin, a United Church minister, after the saint known for his impulsiveness. The nickname stuck, and all her family would call her Pete (or Aunt Pete) from then on.
As an adventurous 14-year old, her irrepressible spirit and open mind took her from the family farm to Brampton, Ontario, where she spent her teen age years and graduated high school. She joined the army in 1942, at 19. and moved to Kingston, Ont., studying at the Royal Military College as one of the first women accepted into the officer training program. As a CWAC (Can. Women’s Army Corps) with the second highest IQ test recorded (though she’d be embarrassed hearing us brag about it), she served in the Canadian Army Intelligence Corps.
After the war she moved to Montreal where she earned her commission as a second lieutenant. She loved Montreal with all its exciting, multicultural life and there met her future husband, Rudy J Scarabelli, a civil engineer (1923 –2015), and raised her two children, Michele and Carlo.
In 1958, Grace and her young children moved to Venezuela to join her husband, arriving in the middle of that country’s revolution, machine gun fire a common occurrence. She made the most of living in the oil camp of Maracaibo, learning the language and culture and befriending all kinds of interesting people, and generally challenging the status quo.
Back in Montreal in the 1960’s, she insisted her children attend French schools, much to the consternation of some of her more conventional friends and family…and she learned French right along with them. She also expanded her cooking repertoire, and became known for her fabulous dinner parties, under the tutelage of her father in law, Carlo Scarabelli, who had just retired as Exec. Chef at the Chateau Laurier.
As her children became more independent, she focused on her own education, studying at Dawson College, where she aced all of her essays on everything from Early Irish Renaissance Lit., to Sociology. Though now in her mid-40’s, her gregariousness won over her younger classmates and professors, no matter the age difference. She went on to graduate with distinction from Concordia University in Applied Social Science.
Throughout that period, Grace worked with women in need and co-founded the New Woman Centre/Centre de la Femme Nouvelle – the first federally funded women’s services center in Canada. As an activist, she fought to establish Chez Doris, Montreal’s first women’s shelter; and in 1977, after 2 years of lobbying various government bodies, she led the first group of Canadian civilians allowed into China to learn of that country’s family planning practices.
In the late 70s, Grace was accepted into McGill University’s Master of Social Work program, but decided to hang up her academic hat when her husband was offered another job in Venezuela. In Caracas, Grace worked privately as a counsellor, and, as a member of the NGO group Las Madrinas, raised funds to establish a school in the barrios (slums) of the city.
Returning to Canada in the 1980, she finally decided to put down her sword for social change, and became an award-winning real estate agent in Montreal and Ottawa, finding homes for many a fellow vet and her large extended family of siblings and nieces and nephews, who all knew to turn to “Aunt Pete” for advice and help. But trudging through the snow to stick a sign in the frozen ground finally lost its appeal, and it was time to head to a warmer climate. Upon moving to Victoria to “retire” in 1994, she became the president of the Newcomers Club of Greater Victoria, as well as an active member on the board of the Unitarian Church, throwing herself into fund raising activities with her usual enthusiasm, business savy and creativity.
In Grace’s eyes and heart, no one was a stranger…just an individual to befriend, and everyone she met invariably felt they were heard and appreciated. She had an incredible joy for life and fun, and a wonderful sense of humour till the very end. She encouraged, guided, and was our champion with tireless love and devotion…With all of her achievements, in the end she always said she loved being a mother first and foremost.
Grace died peacefully in Victoria, B.C., her children by her side. She is also survived by two siblings, Helen McVey and Barry McVey and by many loving nieces and nephews.
Her family would like to offer a special note of gratitude to all her caregivers and the wonderful staff at Highgate Lodge, where she lived happily for the last 6 years of her life; to Jonah Vijandre and her parents for their remarkable kindness and loving care; and to her good friend, Grant Marven, who plied her with chocolate while recording many of her amazing stories, some of which you can find below, along with video clips shared by Nancy A..
As an expression of sympathy, a donation in Grace’s honour to your local Red Cross would be appreciated.
Grace’s Stories:
First Pair of Skates: www.dropbox.com/s/46u0vs5f0a95qyl/First%20Pair%20of%20Skates.m4a?dl=0
Grace Joins the Army
www.dropbox.com/s/xnnccjp074hbzg5/Grace%20Joins%20the%20Army%20-%20Made%20with%20Clipchamp_1675466404724.mp4?dl=0
Roselawn Barracks w Escaped Prisoner
www.dropbox.com/s/enek8srlyxjndrw/Roselawn%20Barracks%20w%20Escaped%20-%20Made%20with%20Clipchamp_1675467532223.mp4?dl=0
In Venezuela with Lady
www.dropbox.com/s/lxblof3zal024sg/In%20Venezuela%20w%20Lady%20-%20Made%20with%20Clipchamp_1675468387658.mp4?dl=0
Video clips:
Muffins for the Russell Fair:
vimeo.com/796403791/9a63276eca
Walking to school with with Peggy
vimeo.com/668408404/363d20f173
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2023
Death notice for the town of: Victoria, Province: Colombie britanique
death notice Grace McVey Scarabelli 2023
obituaries notice Grace McVey Scarabelli 2023
We offer our deepest sympathies to the family and friends of Grace McVey Scarabelli 2023 and hope that their memory may be a source of comfort during this difficult time. Your thoughts and kind words are greatly appreciated.
