Pauline Borenstein
It is with great sadness that we announce the passing of our loving mother, Pauline Borenstein (née Sobel) on Saturday, November 7, 2020, at the age of ninety-one. Pauline (or Pepka as she was known to her friends) was the only daughter of Ida Singer and Ben Zion Sobel. She was born in March 1929, five years younger than her brother, Izek and five years older than her brother, Romek.
It is hard to know whether to recount Pauline’s story from the beginning or end of her life. The beginning and middle might suggest an outcome – bitter or cynical – that was simply not the case. The end – spirited, funny, fierce, all-embracing – appears incompatible with the loss and suffering of her life. And such was her life.
Pauline was 10 ½ when World War II broke out and 16 when it ended. Her town in Poland, Katowice, was about 30 kilometers from Auschwitz. On the first day of the war, her family were out of town on their summer holiday. They never returned to their home except only once after the war. They fled hiding in homes and barns. They experienced terrifying threats of violence from soldiers and locals but also acts of kindness and compassion from strangers, including one priest. Pauline recounted some of these experiences in her interview by the Shoah foundation – an interview housed at the Holocaust Museum in Washington.
Pauline last saw her father on her 13th birthday in 1942. He died while out in a forest looking for food. After the war, she returned to her home in Katowice and found it overtaken by former neighbours. To her everlasting pain, her father’s prayer shawl was being used as a curtain.
Her family were housed in a DP camp in Germany. There, she met her first boyfriend, Misha, who wanted her to move with him to Israel as he was going to fight in the War of Independence. Her mother would not let her go, saying she had just come out of one war and would not let her go to another. She remained in touch with Misha until his death a few years ago. While in DP camp, Pauline returned to school and became a nurse. She met and fell in love with Icek (Jack) Borenstein – a handsome and industrial man nine years older than she. Jack spoke seven languages and worked every odd job available including translator, casket painter and tailor. Jack had been liberated from Buchenwald concentration camp. They got married in Germany in 1949. In June 1950, their first child was born – a daughter, Lina, known to all as Lee. The natural question was where to go now.
As theirs and many other families gambled on where to re-make their lives, Pauline’s relatives moved to New York and most of Jack’s family moved to Australia. Pauline, Jack and Lee were granted Refugee status in Canada and arrived at Pier 21 in Halifax in 1953 on her 24th birthday – the entry into Pier 21 being a point of pride throughout her life. They immediately moved to Montreal. For the rest of her life, Pauline always spoke about how Montreal was the most beautiful city in the world. Beatrice, Ela and Howard soon followed. Tragically, one other son died shortly after he was born and before he was named.
Jack began working in factories but quickly opened up a cafeteria and then a restaurant and then more restaurants. Life was moving forward. And then, on a cold Sunday February morning in 1965, Jack suffered a major stroke while at home. He was hospitalized for a lengthy time and was left paralyzed with impaired speech. At 45, he was left unable to work for the rest of his life. Pauline, at 35, with four children aged 2 to 15, became the breadwinner. She began selling women’s clothes in the basement of their home and remarkably, even after their house burned down, put all her children through school and university.
Remarkably, despite these obstacles, Pauline was always joyful, positive and appreciative of everything in her life. She was optimistic. There was talk, laughter and action in the house. Probably because both Jack and Pauline were always home, their home became a hub where her kids and their friends would congregate. She was never one for shopping trips, or luxuries for herself or dinner parties or holidays. In fact the most common family holiday would be a stay at a hotel near the Montreal Airport where we would hang out by the pool and order in room service which we all thought was great. There would be regular stops in Lake George on route to visit her mother in NYC. She loved NYC and lit up whenever she was there and is thrilled her granddaughter Julia moved there. New friends and strangers gravitated towards her always and she to them where they would often end up laughing on the street. Surprisingly, Casinos became a thrill later in life and there were many birthday trips to casinos with her children and grandchildren.
Pauline took great care of Jack throughout his life and especially as he became more infirmed during the last 10 years of his life. In 1989, Jack died at home at age 69. Pauline was 60. For the first year or so after his death, she would visit his grave almost daily. She always loved driving and began volunteering as a driver for various organizations driving domestic abuse survivors to the police station or to Court, driving cancer patients to their treatment and helping at the Cummings Centre with the elderly. She did this until she gave up her driver’s license about ten years ago. She also developed new friendships with women and watching them together was an absolute joy. They loved going out for lunch or dinner or just being at each others’ homes talking and laughing. They honestly seemed like young schoolgirls joyfully laughing and playing together. All of them died before her.
In December 2006, the unimaginable happened. Lee was diagnosed with cancer and died just 17 days later at 56. That, more than anything else, changed Pauline. Although she was resilient and would eventually laugh and enjoy life to a degree again, she was not the same. Her sadness was never far away.
Pauline was absolutely crazy about all her children Lee (Hymie), Beatrice (John), Ela and Howard (Kate) and maybe even more so about her grandchildren David, Michael, Julie, James, Stephanie, Julia, Jack, Charlie and Alexandra and now great grandchildren, Caden, Eric, Seth, Zoe and Hannah. She thought they were all brilliant and gorgeous and they in turned adored her. When she was going to Israel with her grandson David, one of his friends asked him why he would travel with an “old lady”. He replied “I guess you don’t know my Grandma”. Her daughter Ela and grand-daughter Alexandra were the only ones living in Montreal. While that meant that they bore close witness as Pauline’s health declined, they also had the privilege to spend much time together including weekly traditional Friday night dinners, Alexandra’s ringette game and every imaginable holiday dinner – Christian or Jewish – together with Kathy, Joanne and Tony.
The last year or so have been unusually challenging as Pauline began struggling with dementia which accelerated greatly since Covid. Anyone who has had to witness a family member going through that knows what that entails.
The nurses, support workers and some others at the Waldorf have been compassionate and fabulous and we are grateful to them for all their care. But Algha is someone who was unbelievable. Her kindness and warmth and humour made a huge difference to Pauline’s life. Algha brought joy and love into Pauline’s room and Pauline loved Algha. Even at 91, she had found a new best friend. Words cannot express how lucky we are to have had Algha in our mother’s life. Great thanks to Dr. Becker for his treatment and to Dr. And Norma Mulder for their invaluable support throughout this time.
Pauline experienced hardship throughout her life yet was not a sad person and remained largely happy and resilient. She lived for almost 80 years after her father passed, 50 years after her mother, 31 without her husband whom she adored and, worst of all, she outlived Lee by 14 years. It is our hope she will now be reunited with them all and that she can rest in peace.
A private graveside service will take place Sunday, November 8, 2020.

Our most sincere sympathies to the family and friends of Pauline Borenstein 2020..

paperman

Death notice for the town of: Montreal, Province: Quebec

death notice Pauline Borenstein 2020

mortuary notice Pauline Borenstein 2020