Audrey was born in Halifax, Nova Scotia in 1958 to Ralph and Joan Iris. Her father was stationed at the Shearwater Naval base and the family built a home in Wavery, NS. She has four younger siblings, Ruth, Ralph, Edward and Elizabeth. She loved her parents and siblings dearly. The family was close and all continue to mourn the loss their parents, Ralph and Joan Iris.
At the age of seven, her family relocated to California where she enjoyed growing up in a warn hot climate. It was close to the beach, the mountains and Disneyland.
Later the family relocated to Ontario, Canada. An old friend from California was in the Eastern USA and had invited Audrey to meet up and have a visit. It was on this visit that Audrey met her first husband, Dwayne Damon, also in the Navy. They lived together in several USA locations and Audrey gave birth to her only child, Andrea Davies(nee Damon). Shortly after that marriage ended, Audrey and Andrea relocated to Ontario, Canada to be closer to family. Audrey spent many years living in Owen Sound, ON. It was there in 1997 she met her spouse Allan (A.J.)McDonald. A.J. has two children from a prior relationship, Lyndsay and Jordan and two grand daughters, Brianna (9) and Everly (4).
She has two college diplomas in the business administration area of study and was an honour role student. She later worked in several different places including the Canadian Cancer Society, the VON, Zellers, Greyfair furniture and Carpet and for a long time she worked for Nucomm/Transcom. When the call centre suddenly closed down, she took the opportunity to follow through on a plan she has been talking about for years, move closer to the grandchildren. Audrey and A.J. relocated to Pembroke, ON about 10 years ago. Audrey and A.J. both worked at the HGS call centre for several years. Audrey never liked the line of work and she was happy to leave it to be the at home caregiver of her youngest grandson. She also worked as a nanny for another family before her health deteriorated to the point of her needing to go on a disability pension.
Audrey had a very close relationship with her only daughter Andrea. They were close and enjoyed doing many things together. They traveled the world together and had mother daughter weekends or day trips. If she wasn’t on a trip she was busy planning the next one. She liked to go to parties and have a good time. She was a riot to hang around with. She was the type to dress up for a photo booth and whoop it up on the dance floor. Her entire life she wanted to have fun and enjoy things.
With A.J. she had a similar enjoyment of travelling and day trips. They would go to casinos and she would drag him out for tons of outings to the point where he would have to say, “Audrey we have had a long day out. It is time to go home.” She could have galavanted all day every day. She seemed to never tire of browsing and collecting free samples at Costco.
Her pride and joy are her grandchildren. Malaya (13), Clarabelle (10) and Oliver (6). She loved that her son in law Daryl, is so loving with her daughter and grandchildren. With the grandchildren she shared a special bond and frequently had special sleepovers and outings together. A highlight of the relationship was a family trip to Mexico. Every photo of Audrey she is smiling and laughing. We went to Tulum to see the ruins, ate and a series of spectacular restaurants, saw a fire dancing show and went to a foam party on the beach. Our family bond is special and she will be deeply missed.
About twenty years ago Audrey was diagonosed with Hepatitis C. Although she was unsure exactly how she contracted the disease she did not want to let people know about her diagnosis. She felt a sense of shame attached to it and always feared that someone may think she was a needle user. Many didn’t know she was sick because of this. She tried many medications to cure the Hep C and didn’t find something that worked until about seven years ago. By then the damage was done. She already had cirrhosis and a slew of other illness developed due to her liver beginning to fail. Most recently she was diagnosed with Kidney disease. In the past year we began to see signs of her illness taking a toll on her body. She had periods of confusion due to her liver not processing toxins from her body and was not herself at times. It was hard to see her take falls and break her back. She hated spending stretches of time in hospital. She begged us to take her home but we could not honour her wishes because she was too sick. It was only days ago that we had a meeting discuss a liver transplant for her. We had hope we may be able to find a way to get a few more years with her. Sadly it was not in the cards. The doctor didn’t think she would pass the series of medical tests to get a liver. Going that route would have meant a minimum of spending one year in hospital. It was an easy decision for us to let her home home and die over time with dignity. Unfortunately that plan was not in the cards either. Hours after we spoke about a plan to set up home care and get her home over the next few days she took a turn in the night. She was given blood to keep her alive. We got the call to ‘come now’. The next three days, the last three of her life were nothing any of us could have prepared for. In her last day awake she was already suffering from confusion.
Audrey told us she had a good life and she doesn’t want us to feel sad for her. She wants us to be positive and celebrate her life. We planned what we would do after her death. She was beside herself with excitement about her celebration of life party. We are going to have it back in Owen Sound, likely on the beach on Canada Day and the day will end with fireworks. Her family was by her side every moment of her final days. She was pampered with hair, make up and gifts. Friends called to tell her how much she meant to them. We said a lot of “I love yous” and she wanted to know every detail of what we would spend our inheritance on her. In her life she never had a lot and it gave her pride to know she could be the one to send her grandchildren on a tropical vacation in her memory. She was truly happy when she died. The last pictures we took of her showed her beaming in her smile. After the pain set in and she was in a medicated coma to keep her calm and not feeling pain she stopped speaking. Andrea slept in hospital by her side for two nights and three days. She slept in contorted positions so she could reach over and keep hold of her hand in the night. She pampered her with constant care and words of love said in her ear.
It was during these past few days that Andrea came to some significant realizations about her mother. All her life Andrea felt as though she had nothing in common with her mother. When Audrey spoke about staying positive and celebrating her life, Andrea realized we are in fact exactly alike. We both have the same outlook on life. We love to travel, to go to parties and to go on Ottawa shopping trips. We are both fierce independent and super smart. We also love a good discount!
Another realization that Andrea came to realize in her final days is that I do in fact want to be more like my mother. I see now that’s one of my mother’s strengths
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Our most sincere sympathies to the family and friends of Audrey Lynn Iris-McDonald Tuesday December 7th 2021..
Death notice for the town of: Pembroke, Province: Ontario
I will miss you my dear friend. We had so many laughs and fun dinners out like at the Green Door.. You are loved and cherished and to never forget….Karen.